episode1revisited
by Kitsune Spiritchaser
Summary: its episode one all over again...but what the hell..!? Why is this different!? Why are they acting differently? Is this even the same show?
1. Default Chapter

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Fushigi Yuugi, Watase-san owns them..okay? I just borrowed them for a while and ruined their character. Watase-san's gonna kill me..

**Notes:** This is what happens when you're bored out of your wits at home. Wow, someone is actually reading this. Cool. Anyway, this thing is just a brief retelling of episode 1 of the FY series. I've watched the series so many times already, and of course it's still the same old thing every time you watch it. But what if it's a little different? Just read on.^^ If I get good feedback, maybe I'd do episode 2 next, you never know.^_^  

I hope you enjoy reading.

**FY revisited [Episode 1]**

**Miaka****: I love food.**

**Miaka****: Really.**

**Miaka**: Gimme a double cheeseburger!!!

**Teacher**: I-WANT-HIM-TO-DO-HIS-BEST. Translate.

**Miaka**: Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger!!

**Teacher**: *sigh* I'm a failed educator.

**Friend**: What high school entrance exams are you taking?

**Miaka**: I want to go to Tokyo Daigaku in high school.

**Yui**: There's no possible way you could ever enter there.

**Miaka**: Why?

**Yui**: They don't just let idiots in universities like that.

**Yui**: Anyway, can you accompany me to the National Library? I want to return a book.

**Miaka**: And what if I don't want to?

**Yui**: Then I'll find another lead character who'll get sucked in the Shi Jin Tenshi Cho            

        Then gets all the bishounen

**Miaka**: Ack! Okay, I'll go, I'll go!!

**Miaka**: Whoa, the National library is so...national!

**Yui**: Duh.

**Miaka**: Whoa, a vending machine! WHOOOAAA!!!

**Yui**: Now I'll just return this book and leave you all by yourself for a while. When I    come back,  be sure you've already gone up to the important documents room. I don't wanna waste time here.

**Miaka**: Hai!

**Miaka**: Whoops, I dropped my coin like some sort of stupid idiot.

**Miaka**: Whoa, I can sense Suzaku! I better follow it.

**Suzaku**: Moron. You're not supposed to know me until the next episode.

**Miaka**: Oh, sorry.

**Yui**: Miaka, what are you doing here?

**Miaka**: I was following Suza..er, a red bird!

**Yui**: Red birds don't fly inside libraries.

**Miaka**: Hey look, a mysterious book fell from the shelves. I guess we better check it out.

**Yui**: Why? Let's just leave.

**Miaka**: Yui-chan! It might be back issues of Playgirl magazines!!

**Yui**: Oh, Okay. 

**Miaka**: Oh, its in ancient Chinese, I can't read anything.

**Yui**: I can. I learned it in "How to read ancient Chinese in case some book mysteriously fell out of a bookshelf that contained Chinese characters 'for dummies'". This isn't    Playgirl though.

**Miaka**: Yui-chan's so smart.

**Yui**: And Miaka-chan's such an idiot.

**Miaka**: What the hell is this red light?

**Yui**: Looks Cool. But now where are we?

**Miaka**: Are we supposed to be in ancient china or something? Where are the houses?

**Yui**: Well, the Studio Pierrot people were too lazy in drawing the background for this scene so I guess we just have to put up with this desert thing.

**Miaka**: Ok, but where are the double cheeseburgers?

**Yui**: Let's see if you can find a McDonald's anywhere near here.

**Traffickers**: We're gonna sell you both for big money!

**Miaka**: Cool. Are you dancers or something?

**Yui**: They're slave traffickers, you moron. No wonder I end up being your enemy in the series.

**Miaka**: Help!!! 

**Tamahome**: Here I come to save the daaaaay!

**Tamahome**: Ooooh yeah. I soo kick ass!!

**Yui**: Thank you Mr. gallant hero sir.

**Tamahome**: I'd rather have some money than hear you yapping about how grateful you are.

**Miaka**: We don't have any.

**Tamahome**: What? Sorry, I don't hang around with people who don't have money. See-ya!

**Miaka**: Hey mister! Wait up! I have some useless foreign money that you probably couldn't spend anyway since what I have is a Japanese Heisei and we're in ancient china! Do you want it or not?

**Yui**: Nani? Now I'm surrounded by that ominous red light once more. I hope I get sucked into 'Lord of the Rings' next! Legolas is soo sexy!!

**Miaka**: Yui-chan? Where the hell are you? I just turn around for one second, and you're nowhere to be found. Don't you dare disappear on me!

**Yui**: Heey, this isn't Lord of the Rings. C'mon…perhaps Harry Potter?

**Miaka**: Whoa! What a nice city! Like some scene from a movie!!!

**Yui**: Moron. Whoops, hey, waitaminute, I'm not supposed to be here.

**Miaka**: Hey mister, have you by any chance seen a good-looking guy with a mark on his forehead?

**Miaka**: How about you?

**Miaka**: What about you sir, have you seen him?

**Man:** I dunno about a mark on the forehead but I am a good-looking guy.

**Miaka**: Creep.

**Miaka**: *phew* I've been searching all day and still no sign of the guy. I've probably wasted enough time to last half of the series! How many episodes has it been?

**Watase****-san: Er..uh, one.**

**Miaka**: Damn. 

**Guy:** Hey miss, you know that guy you're looking for, he's a friend of mine. Come with me, I'll lead you to him *snicker*snicker*

**Miaka**: Ok, mister. I'll follow you even though you look so suspicious and you're leading me in a spooky, secluded alleyway. I guess the handsome man I'm looking for is somewhere around these slums that no one is obviously living in.

**Guy:** Hey guys, I brought home some nice meat!

**Miaka**: Hey, I'm not a piece of meat!

**Guy:** Who said I was talking about you? It's these tenderloin chops I brought from the market.

**Miaka**: *sweatdrops*

**Men:** Hehehehe..

**Miaka**: You creep! Stop looking under my skirt!

**Fat guy**: Ok, as soon as you tell me what that red gooey stuff in your underwear is supposed to be.

**Guy1**: Hmm, her clothes could be useful..

**Guy2**: Yeah, we can sell 'em for big money.

**Guy1**: That's not what I meant! I'm gonna wear it for the upcoming Miss Gay contest! The fabric's soo nice!

**Miaka**: Erk!

**Tamahome**: *ahem* And yet again, here I come to save the daaaaay!

**Miaka**: Er, you weren't supposed to come until I asked for help.

**Tamahome**: No matter. I'll save you anyway. I'm the hero. Eat my shorts evil traffickers!!!!!!

**Men:** *yum*

**Tamahome**: Not literally, weirdos!

**Miaka**: Oohh, I'm so taken aback by his fighting skills..

**Miaka**: Whoaaa...

**Miaka**: wow..

**Miaka**: ..cool....

**Miaka**: Far out....

**Miaka**:...unbelievable...

**Miaka**:.........

**Miaka**:..................

**Miaka**:.....hey! Can't you get the cue?! Roll the damn ending credits already!

**Studio Pierrot:** Uh, gomen^_^'

~owari for ep.1~

^_^


	2. episode2revisited

**Episode 2**

**Tamahome****: **Hahaha! Sometimes I just impress myself. I'm a real hero.

**Miaka****: **Ok, ok, you're really great and stuff, but where's Yui?

**Tamahome****: **Yu---what? 

**Miaka****: **Yui!

**Tamahome****: **Oh right!

**Miaka****: **So you're gonna tell me where she is?

**Tamahome****: **Yeah. See that bar there? That's where she works. She's a really great girl. Been  there a couple of times myself.

**Miaka****: **Huh?

**Tamahome****: **You're looking for that geisha, Yuwie, right?

**Miaka****: **Jerk.

**Miaka****: **Where's my friend? The girl who was with me, she went after you. You know who I'm talking about! Where did you take her?

**Tamahome****: **How the heck would I know about that? I don't know where she is. Now leave me be.

**Miaka****: **Hey, don't leave me! I don't know this place!

**Tamahome****: **Oh, too bad.

**Miaka****: **Why are you ignoring me?

**Tamahome****: **…………

**Miaka****: **Can't you say something heroic like, "I understand, leave it to me"? Aren't you supposed to be my knight in shining armor here? 

**Tamahome****: **The armor's gone. I sold it for more money.^^ Now stay outta my way.

**Miaka****: **Hey pretty boy, you're supposed to be the hero here, help me out.

**Tamahome****: **If you're gonna ask for my help then pay me for it!

**Miaka****: **How about a kiss instead?

**Tamahome****: ***sweatdrops*

**Tamahome****: **Look 'ere, I have no  business with that Yui girl, and I already told you, I don't hang around with people who don't have money.

**Miaka****: **Heeey…did you sell Yui to slave traders?

**Tamahome****: **e? Where the the hell did you get that idea? 

**Miaka****: **I'm gonna let that one pass… but the fact that you actually sold a human being?

**Tamahome****: **aaa, nani!?  
**Miaka****: **You villain! You terrible scum! You beastly cretin! You pitiless bastard!!!!!!!!!!  
**Tamahome****: **Heeey, wait a minute, what about that talk a while ago about me being a hero and a knight in shining armor?

**Miaka****: **Shut up! I'm trying a new approach here…

**Tamahome****: **Baka.

**Miaka****: **Hey everyone, listen to me! This guy's a slave trader!!!!

**Tamahome****: **umm….this alleyway's deserted…

**Miaka****: **Oh shucks.

**Tamahome****: **When will you leave me alone?

**Miaka****: **After I find Yui.

**Tamahome****: **I told you, I don't care about you and that Yui girl. I'm just an ordinary guy trying to make money. Is it that hard to understand?

**Miaka****: **But I can feel Suzaku's aura within you.

**Tamahome****: **Nani?

**Suzaku****: **Idiot! Idiot! Didn't I tell you you're not supposed to know me?!

**Miaka****: **You said, "you're not supposed to know me until the next episode." THIS is the next episode. 

**Suzaku****: **Moron. Just shut up. You don't know me until Tamahome says so. Sheez, you're ruining my story.

**Miaka****: **Uh, gomen… won't happen again, I promise.

**Tamahome****: **Hey Miaka, look.

**Miaka****: **Nani?

**Tamahome****: **The emperor of Kounan is inside that carriage. 

**Miaka****: **Is the emperor a rich man?

**Tamahome****: ***sarcastically* No, sometimes he likes to walk around alleyways begging for pennies…… Of course he's rich!!

**Miaka****: **Is he a good person?

**Tamahome****: **Heey, what's with the questions? Why interested in the emperor all of a sudden?

**Miaka****: **Because I could also feel Suzaku's aura within him… *ooops…*

**Suzaku****: ***sigh* …I give up..

**Tamahome****: **He's so damn rich. I would love to get one of the jewels in his crown.

**Miaka****: **…….

**Tamahome****: **Oh boy, if I had even just one of those jewels, it would make me a happy man…

**Miaka****: **………

**Tamahome****: **Really  happy…

**Miaka****: **……….

**Tamahome****: **I might even help a certain person look for Yui……

**Miaka****: **………

**Tamahome****: **Hey, can't you get the point? I want you to get one of the jewels in the emperor's crown for me!  
**Miaka****: **Oh, ok….

**Tamahome****: **gullible freak.

**Miaka****: **Hey Mister emperor sir, can I get a jewel from your crown?

**Hotohori****: **Ok! Here you go!

**Miaka****: **Where? 

**Hotohori****: **Idiot! You think I'd ruin my crown that easily?

**Miaka****: **Whoops, I tripped and fell like a worthless baka.

**Guards: **Let's get her! 

**Guards: **Heeyy… She disappeared!

**Miaka****: **Heeyy… I disappeared!

**Miaka****: **Hey , look, there's Yui! Good, she's back at the library.

**Miaka****: **Yuuuiiii!!!!!!!!!!

**Miaka****: **Yui-chaaaaaan! Look at me, I'm floating in mid-air! Impressive eh?

**Yui****: **Yeah, whatever. Oh wait, I'm not supposed to see you.

**Miaka****: **oh hell, not this red light again…

**Guards: **Heeeyy… she reappeared!

**Miaka****: **Heeyy… I reappeared!

**Miaka****: **Heeyy, I'm back in Kounan again. Look! There are the guards trying to get me!

**Tamahome****: **We just disturbed the parade of the emperor of the country, everyone is at shock at your disappearing trick, the guards are starting to chase us, and we're obviously in big trouble. Now is the perfect time for me to kiss you on the forehead! 

**Miaka****: **eew, cooties..

**Hotohori****: **Take them to the dungeon!

**Guards: **ooh, another addition to hotohori-sama's collection..^^

**Yui****: **You? Enter that school? Are you kidding?

**Miaka's**** Mom: **I hope you understand, but universities have such things called "entrance exams" that you'll never get accepted in.

**Miaka****: **Nani?

**Miaka****: **Waaaaah!  
**Tamahome****: **?

**Miaka****: **Oh, sorry, I had a dream.

**Tamahome****: **If its anything erotic, I'm outta here.

**Miaka****: **Where are we?

**Tamahome****: **Hmmm…. Good question. After ruining the emperor's parade and causing a commotion in the whole town…where are we, where are we? See that guard on standby? See those unbreakable vertical gray bars in fronta you? You know where bars like that are most commonly located? 

**Miaka****: **Candyland?

**Tamahome****: ***sigh* I'm gonna cry.

**Miaka****: **???

**Tamahome****: **We're in a dungeon airhead!!!!!!!!!

**Miaka****: **Waaaah!? What do we do?? What do we do??? What do we do????

**Tamahome****: **Let's see, what did I do the last time I was in a dungeon? *scowls*…oh yeah, I've never been in a dungeon before!!!!!

**Miaka****: **I know! We can use my gum to get outta here!

**Tamahome****: **What a great idea! Uh, whatever a gum is.

**Guard: **Aaaahh! I'm so scared!

**Miaka****: **Dumbass. I haven't eaten the gum yet.

**Guard: **But your face is scary the way it is!

**Tamahome****: **Hey, the guard fainted! Good job Miaka! I need to get more of those "gum" of yours..^_^  
**Miaka****: **Am I supposed to be happy at this?

**Tamahome****: **Hey, look at it this way: Your striking looks make people faint.

**Miaka****: **Hey! I guess your right! *flashes a million-watt smile*

**Tamahome****: ***whispers to himself* hahah, what a moron.

**Tamahome****: **Enough with the trash talk, lets get outta here!

**Miaka****: **Sure.

**Miaka****: **Oooh, smells like food! And it's headed that way!

**Miaka****: ***yum!* now I'm nice and full ……uh, huh? Where's Tamahome?

**Tamahome****: **Now where did that idiot run off to now?

**Miaka****: **I'm lost! Now I'm really in trouble! x_x

**Hotohori****: **Go that way.

**Miaka****: **oh, okay!

**Hotohori****: **Chotto matte. You're the one the guards are after, right?

**Miaka****: **Uh-oh…

**Hotohori****: **Ohohoho! Don't worry, I'm just some gay freak. I'm not gonna call 'em.

**Miaka****: **Arigatou!

**Tamahome****: **Miaka, there you are!

**Guard1: **There they are!

**Guard1: **Get 'em!  
**Guard2: **But I'm scared! You know what happened to that other guard who fainted in the dungeon!

**Guard1: **Just get them, dimwit.

**Tamahome****: **Argh! Lemme go!

**Miaka****: **Let him go!  
**Guard: **Oh, okay!

**Miaka****: **Eh? Nani?

**Guard: **Isn't that what you wanted?

**Miaka****: **Well I thought you would've put up more of a fight…

**Guard: **Emperor's orders. Buh-bye!

**Miaka****: **This is weird.

**Tamahome****: **Oh well, at least we're off the hook.

**Hotohori****: **No you're not. 

**Guards: **aah! Emperor!

**Miaka****: **Emperor? Where, where?            

**Guard: **Right in front of you moron!

**Miaka****: **You mean, this gay freak?

**Guard: **Hey, watch your mouth!

**Miaka****: **Him? It can't be!

**Hotohori****: **Do you want to be Suzaku no Miko? 

**Miaka****: **No way you're the emperor. Who are you to tell me what to do?

**Hotohori****: **A Miko has the privilege of having anything she we wishes for.

**Miaka****: **oh please tell me what to do sir mister emperor your majesty sir.

**Tamahome****: **Why the sudden change of heart?

**Miaka****: **Just shut up! Didntcha hear that? He'd give me the power to have anything I want!^^

**Hotohori****: **I take that as a yes.

**Miaka****: **You bet!

**Tamahome****: **Hey…unfair. Can't I be a Suzaku no Miko too?

**Hotohori****: ***sigh* …..

**Hotohori****: **Everyone, bow to our Suzaku no Miko!

**People of Konan: **Nande? No way I'm gonna bow to someone like that.

**Watase****-san: **oh c'mon, just do it!

**People of Konan: **Whatever.

***ending credits***


End file.
